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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893530">Trying To Get Through</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterslut13/pseuds/monsterslut13'>monsterslut13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hawk, the Cat and the Wolf [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Author takes liberties with those lyrium markings, Baby Fic, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, If i forgot other tags my bad, M/M, Mentions of Lavellan and Dorian, Multi, Proud Parents, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:40:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterslut13/pseuds/monsterslut13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>To Thedas, the birth of a single baby might not be important, but in their family, it's the most important thing of all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anders/Female Hawke, Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age), Anders/Fenris/Female Hawke, Fenris/Female Hawke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hawk, the Cat and the Wolf [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1253105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trying To Get Through</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I had a dream, that's it. No excuses, I had a dream and a baby fic demanded to be written so you got it. I haven't uploaded in a while cause I kinda lost interest but I've been replaying all the DA games to fill the void until DA4 comes out...come on Solas I need MORE answers you egg!</p><p>Sorry :)</p><p>Go forth and read my children. </p><p>I do not own Dragon Age...I'm just building in it's sandpit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fighting demons and insane templars drugged on red lyrium was easier, least in her mind. In her thirty-two years of life Emery had always had a plan for how she'd battle her foes and take them out with as much wit and charm as possible, but nothing ever compared to this. It brought back memories long since forgotten but still deeply treasured, memories of the first time she met Bethany and Carver as soft babies in their mother's arms. Staring down at the bundle in her arms Emery never thought that the twins were ever that small. </p><p> </p><p>He was born in the early hours of a Sunday morning in Verimensis, a baby with hair the colour of falling snow and eyes so green you could get lost in them forever. Everything was too quiet at first and Emery feared that something was wrong, the midwife that held the baby in her arms, clearing off some of the mess from the birth was smiling to herself. No midwife worth her salt in a role like that would smile if something was wrong. She wanted to ask why he wasn't crying but the question disappeared the second she saw him and Emery Hawke fell in love all over again. </p><p> </p><p>There was all kinds of love in her life. There was the kind she had from her lovers, and the kind she had from her friends and family were separate, but this was pure and came on so suddenly. For a brief moment after that love set in Emery had a hundred different thoughts and all of them cultivated with how she was going to protect this defenceless little creature currently mouthing tmat her chest. Hell, he didn't even have a name yet and life was already against him. </p><p> </p><p>Emery wasn't the kind of woman who cried in front of anyone that wasn't Fenris or Anders. No sir, she was a woman made of iron but there in the safety of Varric's mansion in Kirkwall the walls came crumbling down along with the tears she hadn't shed for a long time. The midwife and her assistant shifted awkwardly, seeing the Champion in such a vulnerable state felt wrong, like they were witnessing something no living person should see.</p><p> </p><p>People were the most dangerous when they were vulnerable and she was no exception. </p><p> </p><p>In her many years of midwifery, her feet had never moved so fast in getting to the ornate double doors. A small army was waiting beyond them, worried and tired faces belonging to people who hadn't left the house in the fifteen hours since it all began. Closest were the two she was looking for, both as weary as each other but to their feet so fast you'd think there was a fight brewing. "Both mother and son are doing well, you two can go in." Why the champion was with those two was beyond her understanding. "And <em> only </em> you two." </p><p> </p><p>Neither Fenris or Anders really seemed to care, the two practically rushing passed her like stampeding druffalo. Emery was sitting up in bed as regal as any queen but crying into the bundle in her arms, the baby attempting to feed at the same time with the help of the young assistant. The midwife said it was a boy but it honestly didn't register as much as the sobbing form of their lover on the bed. Fenris closed the door once the girl left and followed closely behind Anders, the blonde being the softer of the two and far better equipped to deal with crying people. </p><p> </p><p>"Emery?" Justice swirled beneath his skin, the spirit equally as distressed to see their lover crying. "Are you alright?" Anders hated seeing her cry. He climbed onto the bed and sat beside her, tutting softly when she leaned against him, body trembling. "Em, what's wrong?" Anders asked, brushing aside the strands of hair that were stuck to her head. The mage had seen her tired before, exhausted on many occasions but this was something else entirely. </p><p> </p><p>In place beside the bed Fenris just watched, he knew babies were small and had seen them from afar but this was different. He could see the tiny form moving with Emery when she curled into Anders, the blanket shifting to reveal white hair and tiny roaming hands. Beneath his chest his heart felt almost ready to explode...the baby's hair was white like his. What did it mean for them? Would the baby be like him? Had the lyrium markings affected more than just his abilities? So many thoughts ran through his head and as a man of action it confused him. </p><p> </p><p>"Nothing's wrong," Emery choked, "I just...he's so tiny. How can I protect him from the world?" The mages and templars had an uneasy alliance now under the hand of Divine Victoria but surprisingly it was holding. Many people still looked at the three of them with unease for their part in the mage uprising but Emery had long-since learned to ignore them all. Her worries were now back in spades, how was she going to be able to let their child out of her site in fear of losing him to some insane revenge plot? </p><p> </p><p>Anders chuckled lightly, "Em...love, he's not even an hour old, how about we focus on the here and now first?" His eyes moved to Fenris, the elf still frozen on the spot just staring down at the pair, "perhaps you'd like to offer your opinion on the matter Fen? Or at least move. Honestly you'd think you've been turned into a statue at this rate." </p><p> </p><p>Fenris growled at him, "quiet mage." It was said in jest really, playful just like it had always been. He sat on the edge of the bed, tenderly running his hand through the tufts of white hair on the baby's head, a mixture of fear and awe coursing through him. "His hair Em…"</p><p> </p><p>"I know," Emery whispered from her place on Anders' shoulder. "But I don't care." She might have worried a few times during the pregnancy what her trip to the Fade with the Inquisitor or the lyrium on her wolf's skin might do to an unborn child, but those were late night thoughts quickly forgotten. "It doesn't make him any less ours." </p><p> </p><p>"How about we don't worry about that now?" Anders spoke, throwing the suggestion out and shrugging casually. "We never did talk of names and I think this little guy needs a name before we jump into a pit of gloom and despair. I don't like the pit of doom and despair." He reached out to take Fenris's hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb, "what do you think?" </p><p> </p><p>They'd spoken about it, the three of them, many times in the months since discovering that they were having a baby, names had been thrown all over the place but none of them stuck. The suggestions were too boring or not to their tastes, of course Varric maintained the suggestion that Varric was a great name for the baby right before Isabela dumped a goblet of wine over his head. </p><p> </p><p>"I've got one," Fenris replied. "Given our recent arguments over what to name the baby I decided to keep it to myself. What about Malcolm?" </p><p> </p><p>"After my dad?!" Emery exclaimed, a little shocked and overjoyed at the idea. It was no secret how close she was with her dad, more so than she was with her mum. Anyone that knew her growing up in Lothering always called her daddy's little girl, no matter the prank Emery, could get away with it when it came to Malcolm Hawke. “You wanna name him after my dad?!”</p><p> </p><p>Anders liked the idea, of course he might have been a bit biased towards some of the names he’d chosen whether the baby was a boy or a girl but Fenris actually had a good idea. “I like it, Malcolm Hawke...almost full circle don’t you think?” Emery leaned in and whispered something into the blonde’s ear, making him laugh in response. “Alright, I like it. What do you think Fen?” </p><p> </p><p>Relaying the same words she’d whispered into Ander’s ear, Emery arched an eyebrow in question, “it’s a good idea, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Fenris actually laughed, “I think he might die in shock.” He returned his attention back down to the baby, rubbing his head with two fingers as gently as possible. “You might be worried about the world around you Em, but I’m not, not with the family we have.” It took him a long time to think of the companions they’d collected over the years as a family but it crept up on him when he least expected it. </p><p> </p><p>“Em, I think our little boy has had enough,” Anders spoke up, motioning to baby Malcolm who seemed more interested in sleep than a meal. He’d helped enough nursing mothers figuring out how to breastfeed after giving birth over the years and Emery looked far too awkward doing it than most. Hitting a demon over the head with a staff was probably easier. </p><p> </p><p>Emery blushed, she hadn’t realised he’d stopped. “Guess I have time to work on it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing wrong with that,” Fenris assured her. He planted a kiss on Emery’s head, sighing happily at the content feeling settling in his chest. The last time he’d felt like this, so frightfully happy it was when he stopped fighting his own damn feelings for the two idiots on the bed and they were idiots...the three of them. “Why don’t you let Anders take Malcolm and put him in the crib whilst I tell the other’s to come back later?” Fenris might have forgotten that there was a hallway full of them, even Avaline came to sit with them, having some choice words to say when Varric took a jab at her for leaving her post. “Then you can have some sleep, you look beat love.”</p><p> </p><p>“I need a bath first,” Emery stated. “But you might as well let them in before they break down the door, they’ve seen me worse than this.” There was those three weeks after her fight with the Arishok where she couldn’t even get out of bed to pee on her own and everyone came by to help.</p><p> </p><p>Fenris rolled his eyes, since they’d broken down plenty of doors during their time he believed it. The elf got to his feet and crossed the room, pulling the door open and obviously catching Isabela as she tried to spy through the keyhole. “You could have knocked Isabela.” </p><p> </p><p>“But where’s the fun in that?” Isabela straightened and flicked her hair behind her shoulders, sunatering passed the elf with a cheeky wink. “Hey Em, you don’t half look like shit!” the rogue teased, taking herself a place on the edge of the bed, not concerned for anything but her need to sit down. “Oh look at that, it’s so small.”</p><p> </p><p>Anders chuckled, “what did you think Isabela, that he’d come out fully formed?”</p><p> </p><p>Isabela rolled her eyes, “wonder how long it’d take him to grow taller than Varric?” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t make me shoot you rivaini,” Varric warned, coming in holding an empty goblet of wine. “Don’t mind me chuckles, got started on the celebrating a little early,” the dwarf confessed when he saw Emery raise an eyebrow at the bejeweled cup. “Midwife said it was a boy, congratulations Hawke, regardless of looking like shit, you did a good job.” Varric saluted her with his empty goblet and behind him Avaline just rolled her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s his name?” Isabela inquired, leaning over to get a good look at the sleeping baby. “Oh he’s got white hair, that settles it, he’s Fenris’s wolf pup. Was wondering which one of these idiots hit the target.” </p><p> </p><p>“I will hit you,” Emery warned. Isabela was so crude and that was why she loved her.</p><p> </p><p>Isabela scoffed, “yeah sure mama, so, spill, what did you call him? Isabela is not a good name for a boy by the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“His name is Malcolm,” Fenris answered. “We decided to name him after Emery’s father. Malcolm Varric Hawke, what do you think?” he asked, turning his attention to the dwarf in question. </p><p> </p><p>“Hang on, hang on, hang on, you named your baby after your father and me?” Varric asked, stunned disbelief actually showing on his face. “Me?”</p><p> </p><p>Emery nodded, “yeah. Malcolm was Fen’s idea and Varric was mine. You’re my best friend Varric, we’ve been through too much shit these last twelve years to pretend otherwise. Everything you taught me when I came to Kirkwall with Carver and mum I want you to be able to teach Malcolm when he’s old enough.” Not the stealing things and questionable contact with the gritty underworld of all of Thedas but being able to keep his wits about him and take responsibility for the things he’d done. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s a dangerous line Emery,” Varric warned, his tone the complete opposite of the message’s intentions. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s cute,” Avaline noted, earning matching looks of surprise from <em> everyone </em> in the room. “What?” she shrugged. “I can like babies and call them cute just as much as anyone can.” SHe crossed her arms, feeling mildly insulted by the fact that they didn’t think she could see a baby as cute. </p><p> </p><p>“You can call this one cute at any rate,” Anders boasted proudly. He might have been a little biased but damn did he not have Fenris’s cheekbones, biologically Malcolm might not have been his but that didn’t stop the warmth spreading through his heart and the anxiousness following at the fact that they were parents for the first time ever. He was anxious to hold Malcolm but he looked so warm and happy cradled against Emery’s chest. Maybe later on? </p><p> </p><p>Varric coughed and cleared his throat, “this is touching and all but I think we should let these three get used to never sleeping again.” He winked at Emery who winked right back, mouthing her thanks to the dwarf behind a yawn. “I’m gonna write the Inquisitor, see if I can’t get his royal luckiness and sparkler to get off each other for five seconds. Oh Cassandra is going to <em> love </em>this,” he smirked. </p><p> </p><p>“Can you bring me some parchment later?” Emery questioned. “I need to write Carver otherwise he’ll be furious that I left him out of the loop.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aye aye chuckles.” </p><p> </p><p>Isabela pouted, “aw I wanted to stay a little longer and-”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on Isabela,” Avaline retorted. She put an arm around the pirate and literally <em> dragged </em> her to the door, “let’s leave these three to have their moment.” She smiled warmly at Emery and bowed her head, “congratulations Emery. I’ll let Donnic know.”  </p><p> </p><p>“Give him our best,” Emery added, her smile matching Avaline’s. Turning her attention back to baby Malcolm, the mage closed her eyes and nuzzled into him, inhaling that unique scent that all babies carried. “I love you Malcolm,” she whispered against his tiny forehead. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Hawke...you did good.” </p><p> </p><p>Emery gazed at Varric, “what? I had a baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...and you did good,” Varric repeated. “You and Fenris and Anders, the three of you. Despite everything that’s ever happened to you all...well shit, what I’m saying is that you deserve to be happy.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you Varric.” Fenris put a hand on the dwarf’s shoulder and steered him to the door, “thank you for letting us stay here Varric.”</p><p> </p><p>Varric shrugged, “out in the wilds is no place to raise a baby. You can stay as long as you like, this place has been empty for way too long.” </p><p> </p><p>There was nothing else left to say. The door closed leaving the new parents to their own devices. Fenris went back to the bed and sat down where Isabela had been sitting, “how about Malcolm goes into his crib and then you can have a bath. I’ll wash your hair.” He always loved her red hair, Fenris might have been a bit biased in wanting a little girl with Emery’s red hair, the spitting image of their champion as a child. </p><p> </p><p>“Can I take him?” Anders asked, getting in way before Fenris could. </p><p> </p><p>Emery laughed, “you two are not going to fight over our son.”</p><p> </p><p>Fenris stroked back her hair tenderly, “we wouldn’t dream of it love.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good, because he’s mine,” she declared, throwing on her best shit-eating grin regardless of how tired she was.</p><p> </p><p>In the grand scheme of Thedas, the little addition to their family might not have been overly important but to the three of them, he was the most important person to them all. No matter what came in the future and what challenges life brought them, Emery Hawke had everything that she’d ever wanted in her life. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She was happy and she was loved, and that was the best feeling in the world. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I took some liberties with those lyrium markings of Fenris'. I dunno what they could have done to his DNA or something so I took a wild leap into the abyss and made it affect little Malcolm. Sue me. </p><p>No seriously don't, I'm a broke bitch T_T</p><p>I hope you enjoyed</p></blockquote></div></div>
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